This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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