so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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