my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
