Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
