I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize