At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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