He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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