Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
