U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YAS. BRING CRAB.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
