i don't want you to think of me as your TA
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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