Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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