Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
