You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
