You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
