When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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