Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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