my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
