We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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