My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
