i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize