Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
