Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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