weddingsv make me drug and hornr
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
