Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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