umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
