i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
