If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
