You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
