I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
