You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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