I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
