Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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