I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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