Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
