So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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