meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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