i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
