And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
