the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize