I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
