Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
