think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize