dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
