i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
