just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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