Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
