it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
