i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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