We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
