so that wasnt chicken after all
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
