You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
