So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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