i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize