So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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