drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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