Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
