Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
