If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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