that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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