Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
