I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
