I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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