I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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