oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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