Pappa wants mamma naked
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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