no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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