So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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