I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
