what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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