I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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