If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
