WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize