i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
